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Live it Now: Honesty

Hello friends!

As I continue on this epic and awesome yet terrifying road of being a business owner, I am learning so much about myself.

My limitations, successes and humbling failures. It’s a process I’m sure many of you understand. Supporting each other is essential to survival. I am so grateful for all of you who have.

I find myself needing to revisit my generosity and manage my energy in ways I couldn’t have prepared for. Similar to being a new parent, the rewards are obvious, but the unspoken fears are tricky to find a place for.

Saying them gives them life, or is raw, open honesty the way to go? To share bravely without expectations? Not sure that’s the answer either. Can we be too honest? Really think about that... ? I admire people who are able to just speak their truth, and seem to be able to do so without second guessing it.

<who>Photo Credit: Dina McLeod</who>

I am always looking within... man, I shouldn’t have said that... or how do I ask for help without seeming like a dud.

To be honest enough to even understand what it is I need. Sometimes the clutter is hard to mold into something tangible. That constant dance of opening and closing the heart.

I think for me it’s about feeling safe, knowing the moments I do share honestly are done with people who have no other agenda than to listen, hug, support and cry with me if need be. I am so incredibly fortunate to have a handful of those generous "family" members in my circle.

But what if you don’t have that? When my daughter was little and would come home from school fuming mad and frustrated from a day of having to curb all of her emotions, I would just let her rant and let it out. She needed a safe space to unload all of the stuff.

<who>Photo Credit: Dina McLeod</who>

At school, we are not encouraged to express honesty, not truly. We learn the ‘game’ face. The mask we wear when we’re out in society essentially to get along and have nice manners. Beneficial indeed, but do we guide our littles to be their most honest selves if we constantly dampen their raw feelings?

As an adult I’m allowed to come home from work and gripe about a boss or co-worker or a situation that irked me, so why wasn’t my child granted the same space. I found it open doors for releasing pent-up energy and feelings she didn’t know she was burdening herself with.

So, back to that honest talk. Some people share their stuff so openly with strangers, without fear. How do they do that? Maybe I’m the camel who sticks their head in the sand and just tries to live by the positive talk policy will create a positive life. But then I realized it’s all about the internal dialogue, not the verbal.

The verbal could be complete BS really, but the internal is our most honest. What do I tell myself, am I gracious enough to allow myself to unload the day’s troublesome moments and just let go like I’ve encouraged my daughter to do? I think … in all honesty here (the word of the day apparently) the only time my mind opens effortlessly is when I run.

Like last Sunday in Naramata with the Dirty Feet Trails Series, my last race of the season and my first time on that trail. It was 10km up a 3% grade and back down.

I had low expectations as I haven’t been in the trails much since opening the business. But somewhere during the uphill battle (metaphoric for sure), I found honest Dina... she was just hanging out on the sidelines watching. We tapped out, and she took over.

<who>Photo Credit: Dina McLeod</who>

The tears and joy came the way I needed them to. I was singing and dancing as I ran, being chased by a banana (it was a costume thing) and I was able to completely let go of all the self-doubt, tapping into the reserves I use so often (I’ll save that for a different post).

How do I hold onto that? I need to bottle that magic somehow and save it for emergency moments. Like a special elixir in a video game that gives you superpowers.

How do you tap into yours? Walking, dancing, drawing, writing, working out, hiking, swimming, meditating, floating (so good, if you haven’t tried it. Go see Janette at Bliss Float Centre.

No matter where you end up, if you’re ever looking for a safe place to dump some honesty, I’m at the studio (Aberdeen Village) Monday-Friday from noon on. Come by, I’ll hold space for you.

If you need to drop off some stuff that you no longer need to carry, I’ll carry it for you. Life really is an amazing ebb and flow of beauty and grace/tears and turmoil.

Some days are better than others.

Either way... it’s your life... it's waiting... LIVE IT NOW!



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