Canadian advocate and celebrated Paralympic athlete Rick Hansen had a tragedy in his family recently as his daughter gave birth to a still born baby.
Daughter Emma Hansen recently shared her story of losing her baby in an online blog post which has touched thousands of readers. Emma took to her blog to talk about the tragic loss of her son, just one day before her expected due date.
Photo Credit: Emma Hansen
“This is not the story I had been drafting in my mind over the weeks leading up to our due date,” explained Emma. “I was imagining excited phone calls, a joyous labor, and my crying baby on my chest at the end of it all. But this story still needs to be written and shared as it would have had it played out to my most perfect plan. For though he was born still, he was still born. This is for you my darling Reid.”
Emma realized that something was wrong on April 3rd, 2015, Good Friday. The baby had not moved for some time and Emma began to worry that something was wrong. Her husband Aaron tried to listen of the baby’s heartbeat but could not pick it up. The couple then went to the BC Women’s Hospital to have the baby monitored, and here they learned what no one ever wants to hear.
“A resident wheeled in the portable ultrasound machine to take a look at our baby, she said it would be much quicker at picking up his heartbeat than the Dopplers,” said Emma. “She turned on the screen, found his heart, and paused. I saw that it was still – I knew what this meant, but I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. I willed his heart to start beating. The resident asked for the attending, Dr. Lim, as she kept the ultrasound firmly positioned on his heart. Dr. Lim arrived, and the resident asked for confirmation that she had the ultrasound on the heart. He replied yes and asked her to turn on the blood flow imaging. And then she spoke the worst words I’ll ever hear: ‘Ok. I have the ultrasound focused on his heart now. Do you see that? It’s not moving. And there’s no red and blue to signify blood flow. I’m so sorry, but your baby is dead.’”
Photo Credit: Emma Hansen
Emma was overwhelmed by the news and explained the pain as “washing over me like I’d never felt before”.
“The sorrow I felt in that moment is something I’ll never be able to put into words. Oh how I ached for the power to turn back the clock to the night before when we could have rushed to the hospital to get him out safely. He lived for 39 weeks and 6 days in my womb, and it didn’t seem possible for him to just stop living one day before his due date. One day.”
As the situation became real for the couple the next decision would be one of the most difficult Emma would have to make, giving birth to a dead baby.
“I didn’t think I’d ever have the strength for. I kept thinking how it was so unfair of them not to offer me a C-section. How could any woman get through birthing her lifeless child? But it was my new reality that this was something I had to do.”
Why had this happened? Was it Emma’s fault? Had she done something that caused her baby boy to die? These questions swirled through Emma’s head as she struggled with the death of her son Reid.
“My placenta was pale and that there was also a tiny bit of fluid around his heart. He said that we most likely would never find out what happened. That it’s a sad part of life that sometimes babies just pass for no medical reason, and being dragged through months of tests and autopsies would be more painful than we realized right now.”
Emma details the events that followed which included preparing to give birth to her son, still born. As she went through the motions, nothing prepared her for the sight of her son, born as though he we just sleeping.
Photo Credit: Emma Hansen
“Then finally, a few pushes later, there was relief. At 2:24 am on April 4th, 2015 our beautiful son, Reid Richard VandenBrink, was born sleeping. We spent the next moments pouring over every flawless inch of his strong body. Reid was the perfect mixture of us both. Aaron’s nose, head shape, and long fingers and toes – he would have been tall. My eyes, dimpled chin, and shock of black hair. I know I’m biased but he was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen. These memories are both the happiest and the most painful I’ll ever know, and there’ll never be enough of them.”
Right as the couple was realizing their absolute nightmare, a small piece of relief was given to them, they were told why their son had died. Reid’s death was caused by a tight true knot in his cord, a rare occurrence. Doctors explained that he must have done summersaults early in the pregnancy and tied it when he was very small.
“Our little monkey, he was having too much fun in there. My heart felt heavy knowing what had happened. On one hand it brought a small bit of relief to know it wasn’t something we did or didn’t do. Knots are undetectable. But that same knowledge brought tremendous grief through the realization that his passing from this knot happened completely out of our control. We couldn’t have protected him from this.”
Photo Credit: Emma Hansen
Emma’s father Rick posted the touching story to his Facebook page saying that during this terrible time Emma and her husband were showing incredible strength. For Emma, detailing the story and sharing it with others has been therapeutic for her.
“If it were ever possible to see the light in this situation, it’s through the power Reid has had in our community and well beyond it. His reach through the lives he’s touched is mind-blowing, and it means so much to us to know that he has made such an impact with his brief time on this earth. He is loved fervently by far more than just his parents and that brings us peace. We want to thank you all for reaching out to us with condolences, prayers, words of strength, poems, verses, and your own similar stories.”
To read the entire blog post and share your own words of comfort or stories with Emma you can do so by visiting her blog Sincerely Skin.
